Few things are more unnerving than a band member that's rushing. Always beating you to a downbeat without even being aware of it. . . . . .
This takes all the air right out of a groove and makes even the simplest feel sound uncomfortable. Even though 99% of listeners can't put their finger on it, they're affected as well and won't respond to the music as they might otherwise. I've seen it happen.
If you're confident your time is solid and you're not dragging I'd talk to him (her) about it. How you plan to do that is up to you but try to avoid putting anyone on the defensive about their time.
Well put, but even the best intentions and words can be taken the wrong way . . . I'VE seen it happen.
What if there was a different way?
How could you communicate with this player on the bandstand?
I was subbing the other nite on a gig, and during one of the tunes the guitar walks over, faces me, and not forcibly but demonstrably shows the downbeat. This was coming out of the solo section, and soon realized I was a bit strident. I really appreciated it, and the only two people who knew what was going on was the guitar, drums and maybe the guitar players wife.
What type of things can the drummer do on the bandstand to take charge of pushing/pulling ?