A bad experience

jazzerone

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Here's the thing --- you can only control what you can control, and the one thing you absolutely cannot control is how other people behave. I would wager that even if you had gotten the 7 tune list, prepared to the nth degree, and nailed everything the vocalist would still have given off the that vibe. People are who they are, and her reveal is that a simple communication mixup apparently was something she couldn't tolerate. What happens the first time you're not exactly the 22.35 minutes early to a gig that she requires? Or the first time you drop a stick? Or the first time you make a joke and she tells you this is no joking matter?

My point is that 99% of us have a certain degree of performance paranoia, where we're absolutely certain we're getting the stink eye from somebody in the band, especially if it's a new band. The cure is not to make sure you have every possible contingency covered --- which, of course, is impossible. The solution is to know yourself and your ability, and do the best, most honest work you can do. Eliminate all judgement from your performance, especially judgement about yourself --- I can tell you from many years of experience that you can smell the lack of confidence and certainty on the bandstand if one of the players is more focused on what people think than on what he's committed to playing.

Maybe you blew the audition by not having the 7 song set list ready to go. Maybe not. From what I'm reading, you were well-prepared and played with honesty and within yourself, which are the things you can control. Maybe you were a little too sensitive about the singer's response. This you should toss out the window, because her response is the one thing you can't control, while not letting it get to you is something you CAN control.
 

Toast Tee

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Great advice.
I did the best I could, and played well. I can second guess everything forever. When I was a kid taking lessons, my teacher once told me "The worst thing they can say is no"
That was great advice to get me to start auditioning. I had been lucky, as in past cities I lived in, I'd usually get referred, so I haven't auditioned much of my adult life.
I never did get the call, so most likely I won't be. I just need to keep my chin up, be as prepared as possible, and hopefully get the next one.
All I can do is be myself, and chalk this up to a learning experience.
 

Toast Tee

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Crazy turn here.
They can't find anyone for their gig Sat lol. The vocalist STILL didn't want me. So, now because she won't call me for it (yet) the bassist is going to quit, if I don't do it.
Too much drama for me. Bassist was great. Before we started the audition, we ran through Rosanna for fun (I just played it to make sure snare was correct hight for me) It sounded great. If I get the chance, I'll put something together with him. She can't keep a drummer, and this is 3rd bassist in 4 years.
She's got issues. Not that I don't, but I'm a reasonable person.
Well I try
 

Toast Tee

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Life is too short to suffer fools... move on.
True! It's never too short to keep learning, or gaining experience. Life moves pretty quickly, if you don't stop, and look around once in a while........ya might miss it.
Paraphrasing Ferris Bueller.
 

JazzDrumGuy

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Dude, you gotta go see the gig and either they will pull it off or implode.....if the latter, I'd love to see how the singer handles it!
 

Toast Tee

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Lol, nah, it's tempting, but just gonna move on. They already lost the bassist. There are just people that are difficult to deal with. They get good gigs, and work a lot, but honestly my back could handle 2 gigs a month, not 3-4 a week.
I remember asking "what happened with the last drummer", and they all studdard.
It is about having fun jk;)
I wouldn't have fun there.
 

Bonzoholic

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Sounds like Karma was in your corner and you avoided a "drama bullet". Onward and upward. Lesson learned.
 

RIDDIM

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Crazy turn here.
They can't find anyone for their gig Sat lol. The vocalist STILL didn't want me. So, now because she won't call me for it (yet) the bassist is going to quit, if I don't do it.
Too much drama for me. Bassist was great. Before we started the audition, we ran through Rosanna for fun (I just played it to make sure snare was correct hight for me) It sounded great. If I get the chance, I'll put something together with him. She can't keep a drummer, and this is 3rd bassist in 4 years.
She's got issues. Not that I don't, but I'm a reasonable person.
Well I try
- There is a word for people like her - unemployed.

Run away.
 
Last edited:
J

jaymandude

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Wow, they can't get a drummer and she doesn't want you.

That's deep.....

Every situation I've been in, bandmembers can tell in 8 bars whether someone's playing is going to work or not. Personality takes longer to suss out. The thing about the 7 tunes is complete bullshit. It's not that. Some other weird sheeet that she or the band needs years of therapy to change
 

REF

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Man. Life is too short to have to involve music with stress like that. I'd be thinking if that is her character, she can keep it, and I'd find another band to work with. Being that way towards you, brand new, because of a small glitch that didn't really effect the outcome, is pretty harsh. Maybe the other guys are used to that but, dealing with a diva like that all the time? No thank you.
 

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