Drummers With Multiple Kits: Ever an Issue With Family / Friends?

singleordoubleheads

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For those here with multiple kits, do you ever get negative feedback/comments from family or friends? I ask because I proudly own 6 kits and have had at least 3 at a time since 2006. I have a family member who, for reasons I cannot understand, always has to make comments (when the subject of drums comes up) along the lines of "you don't need all those drums" or "you can only play one set at a time" or, when I joke about getting another kit (I'm not) "if you want more drums you need to get rid of some old ones". Tonight I heard a new one--"you don't need all those little drums"???
Now, we usually get along okay regarding anything BUT drums, but for unknown reasons me owning multiple kits drives her crazy!! Meanwhile HER son (also my age 52) lives alone with no kids but owns FOUR vehicles and has a large basement FULL of HUGE model train displays and I never say one word about it. My drums are MY business and I'd like to rip her a new one but have to bite my tongue to keep family peace. Anyone else here have similar experiences with a family member or friends??
I have guitar player friends who own DOZENS of guitars!! And nobody blinks an eye. In fact a former Band mate would often bring 7-8 guitars to EVERY GIG!! Am I just being over sensitive or is my family member just a jerk??
 

snappy

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For those here with multiple kits, do you ever get negative feedback/comments from family or friends? I ask because I proudly own 6 kits and have had at least 3 at a time since 2006. I have a family member who, for reasons I cannot understand, always has to make comments (when the subject of drums comes up) along the lines of "you don't need all those drums" or "you can only play one set at a time" or, when I joke about getting another kit (I'm not) "if you want more drums you need to get rid of some old ones". Tonight I heard a new one--"you don't need all those little drums"???
Now, we usually get along okay regarding anything BUT drums, but for unknown reasons me owning multiple kits drives her crazy!! Meanwhile HER son (also my age 52) lives alone with no kids but owns FOUR vehicles and has a large basement FULL of HUGE model train displays and I never say one word about it. My drums are MY business and I'd like to rip her a new one but have to bite my tongue to keep family peace. Anyone else here have similar experiences with a family member or friends??
I have guitar player friends who own DOZENS of guitars!! And nobody blinks an eye. In fact a former Band mate would often bring 7-8 guitars to EVERY GIG!! Am I just being over sensitive or is my family member just a jerk??
Say, "It's a useful collection.
Want to talk about a dumb collection?
Cabbage Patch Dolls"
 
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Mongrel

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The only "family member" who has any ground to discuss my kits is my wife. And while she has on occasion *suggested* I sell off some of my unused gear to finance new stuff it has never even gotten close to a demand or even a strong suggestion.

ANY person, family member or not, better tread very lightly or they will (and have) get shut down real quick-typically with something along the lines of "I don't see how that is any of your business."

If it gets beyond that well...

We do try and keep the forums family friendly so let's just say-it gets shut down, and usually will eliminate any further reasons to deal with the person who started it.

lol
 

DrummerJustLikeDad

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Now, we usually get along okay regarding anything BUT drums, but for unknown reasons me owning multiple kits drives her crazy!! Meanwhile HER son...
Well if I were to play psychiatrist, this actually feels pretty textbook. The fact is it actually DOES drive her crazy that her son holds the collection that he does, and she’s projecting all of that onto you, instead of onto him. Because you’re right: why SHOULD it bother her about your collection, but the answer is right there in her son. The good news, now you don’t have to take it personal :)
 

Vistalite Black

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She’s right. Six drum sets is way more than anyone needs.

I also think this is kind of like when someone says, 'You know what really burns me up about flying to Europe?' They really just want to announce that they went to Europe or that they go so often that some tiny issue is wearisome.
 
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hector48

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I've heard the same line from guitarists who have many guitars, and they don't even play guitar in a band.
I currently have 3 kits set up in my practice room.
The only strong argument they have is that drums do take up a lot more space than guitars and shoes.
I guess the band would have a bit more room to practice if I took down one of the sets :huh:
Nah, it's "my room".
 

singleordoubleheads

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I've heard the same line from guitarists who have many guitars, and they don't even play guitar in a band.
I currently have 3 kits set up in my practice room.
The only strong argument they have is that drums do take up a lot more space than guitars and shoes.
I guess the band would have a bit more room to practice if I took down one of the sets :huh:
Nah, it's "my room".
I realize it's not really "apples to apples" when comparing drums to guitars but you get the idea--plus I'm not factoring in all the different amps and pedals/effects pedals they also seem to haul around.
 

dtk

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Never had that issue...of course I don't talk much to my family...and my kids know I buy used and often broken stuff. I can justify 4 kits pretty easy though...
 

singleordoubleheads

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Why do you care what others think?

You can’t be responsible for how others feel or should you.
It's not so much that I "care" per se, but it gets a bit tiresome to always be on "defense" every time this comes up. It's certainly none of hers (or anyone else's) BUSINESS how many drums I own. Yes people can have their opinions but why not zip it once in a while??
I've tried going the "nice" route many times, trying to (calmly) explain WHY I have what I have (again, I shouldn't HAVE to!!) and attempt to explain different configurations/shell-types/sizes/bearing edges/head options/etc, but it always seems to fall on deaf ears. Do I technically NEED 6 kits? Of course not, but I WANT options and work hard for my money which I am then entitled to spend as I see fit!
 

drumfx

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For those here with multiple kits, do you ever get negative feedback/comments from family or friends? I ask because I proudly own 6 kits and have had at least 3 at a time since 2006. I have a family member who, for reasons I cannot understand, always has to make comments (when the subject of drums comes up) along the lines of "you don't need all those drums" or "you can only play one set at a time" or, when I joke about getting another kit (I'm not) "if you want more drums you need to get rid of some old ones". Tonight I heard a new one--"you don't need all those little drums"???
Now, we usually get along okay regarding anything BUT drums, but for unknown reasons me owning multiple kits drives her crazy!! Meanwhile HER son (also my age 52) lives alone with no kids but owns FOUR vehicles and has a large basement FULL of HUGE model train displays and I never say one word about it. My drums are MY business and I'd like to rip her a new one but have to bite my tongue to keep family peace. Anyone else here have similar experiences with a family member or friends??
I have guitar player friends who own DOZENS of guitars!! And nobody blinks an eye. In fact a former Band mate would often bring 7-8 guitars to EVERY GIG!! Am I just being over sensitive or is my family member just a jerk??
Some people collect spoons or muscle cars, i collect vintage drums and i have a lot. My girlfriend doesn't particularly care because i have a whole section in the basement dedicated to restoring and playing the old beasts. When i get a new kit or snare, i drag her down there to look at it. She is a fan of old school hardware and finishes. As for my friends and collegues, well they are aware of my "disease" and they don't judge me because they know that i am passionate about old tubs. Plus i wouldn't care if they disagreed anyway.
 

singleordoubleheads

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Never had that issue...of course I don't talk much to my family...and my kids know I buy used and often broken stuff. I can justify 4 kits pretty easy though...
That's cool and kinda along those same lines, out of my 6 kits, I have a grand total of 150$ in 2 of them!! And they have paid for themselves MANY times over from countless gigs! So that leaves me with 4 "expensive" kits but I'm not one to drop 10,000 grand on an exotic kit. My Pro M was around 750$, my Vistas were around 1,800$. Hardly outrageous. My newish Crystal Beats were 1,400 for 6 Toms and a matching kick. So I hardly think I'm "going hog wild" in my drum spending.

I just wish people would keep their mouths shut once in a while--sometimes I'd like to ask her "how would YOUR life improve if I only had 1 or 2 kits???"
 

MntnMan62

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You don't say what relation this woman is to you or whether she happens to live with you or not. I suspect she's just a relative, maybe a sister or sister in law who does not live with you. In which case, it is absolutely none of her business how many drums you decide to have or not have in your own home. I wouldn't even give her satisfaction of asking her how her life would improve if you only had 1 or 2 kits. Instead, the next time she brings it up I would just say, something like, "You know, every time I see you you bring up how many drums I have. Please explain to me how the number of drums I have is ANY of YOUR business?" I figure such a strong response would be ok since you say that the rest of your relationship is good otherwise and can therefore stand a little bit of strong commentary on a subject that is very important to you. And if you were to ask her that question, I would bet she would probably be taken aback, stop for a second, admit that it isn't any of her business, and you would probably never hear another peep from her about your drums. Just sayin'.
 

wflkurt

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Nobody has the right(except probably the spouse) to make any comment on you stuff. I personally think if bills are not getting paid and you are buying more stuff then that is a problem. I have been married for 12 years and though my wife is great with all my stuff, I bought most of it years before we met and paid a lot less than what they are actually worth now. If you have the means to afford them, the space to keep them and a supportive partner then everyone else can take a flying leap.
 

RIDDIM

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It's not so much that I "care" per se, but it gets a bit tiresome to always be on "defense" every time this comes up. It's certainly none of hers (or anyone else's) BUSINESS how many drums I own. Yes people can have their opinions but why not zip it once in a while??
I've tried going the "nice" route many times, trying to (calmly) explain WHY I have what I have (again, I shouldn't HAVE to!!) and attempt to explain different configurations/shell-types/sizes/bearing edges/head options/etc, but it always seems to fall on deaf ears. Do I technically NEED 6 kits? Of course not, but I WANT options and work hard for my money which I am then entitled to spend as I see fit!
- Just ask what advice she gives to her son.
 

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