he's back! funny listing for hi-hats on seattle CL.

Swissward Flamtacles

Well-Known Member
Jun 19, 2020
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Give the guy his own show already! :D
I bought these hi-hats, featuring imbedded hi-hat jingles back in the early 2000's because I was doing interesting studio sessions. Crap, I used to make good money playing with "singer/songwriters" (opened up for Mellencamp on the Gorge Mainstage in summer 2001' 40,000 audience, and had a top 40 radio hit with another band but .. 9/11; yeah). Nowadays? Not sure how you're gonna make it as a drummer but yeah, buy these stupid hi-hats.

I've since come to my senses and decided "less is more". If you haven't learned your lesson regarding being a drummer in the local original music scene, these hats are for you, Slappy. I'm 51 and can't stand the thought of rehearsing x hours per week, only to schlep my crap to a dingy, no-parking allowed club ... to play a lousy 45-minute (if you're lucky) set with not even a soundcheck but a line-check. FA Q!

These "unique" hi-hats haven't been played by me for many years (see above). If you're young, knock yourself out bring a bunch of drum crap like these these hi-hats to a club where the audience can't tell sh*tty bands from awesome bands because there are only two reasons they are there: 1) to score 2) get plastered.

God, I hate having to talk to "fans" after the show; they've never heard our music but they are so caught up in the frenzy, they feel they need to validate what I do. FA Q, phonetically speaking.

Okay; you want these cymbals? Message me and we'll then call/text for time to meet up at my house here in Kirkland WA because I don't want to go anywhere and I'd rather hold them than have to exert any extra energy to sell them, Slappy. Mohammed must come to the mountain, not vice versa.

Cash only; I don't do that stupid online transaction crap. Did I mention that I'm 51? That means I don't want to extend any extra energy learning about and utilizing technology. Let's keep it simply, Slappy.

Any questions, like "are they 'mint condition' or 'cracked'. Hell no. My integrity is worth more than 2 pieces of brass/copper. There's some rust on the bottom hat but you're a good girl; put on your French maid (I surrender!) outfit and get some SOS pads and clean them. I don't care and don't want to.

If you want them, you better schedule an early time you can meet me at my castle. First come, first serve. If you schedule a time and don't show up, FA Q and don't bother trying to reschedule and yes, I do keep records of you losers who don't show up. Funny how (those who agree to buy something and don't show up end up amounting to nothing). I see this all of the time; failure to commit leads to lack of grit. "Oh, you diminished my empowerment" they say. P*ssies. Grab a set, realize you might fail, but persevere.

It took me a decade to master the shuffle beat for "Rosanna" (Toto), and no, it's not 12/8 nor is it 4/4; it's a "pushed" shuffle but you probably just want to listen to the latest, stupid misogynist, braggadicio rapper who always drones on at 120bpm. Christ, no wonder our kids want to rap; you don't need to learn scales, time signatures or arrangements. No effort.

Somebody take me back to the 1970's where you actually had to work for achievement.
Given that he doesn't want to "exert any engery to sell them" he writes quite a lot of text!

Also by him:
I don't know what to price this stupid little cymbal so let the buyers offer me their "best offer". I don't give a sh*it; just want to get rid of all this crap in my 2-car garage so my old lady can feel like we're accomplishing something during this stupid virus thing. Christ, I should be in my classroom in the daytime and playing drums for my band on the weekends, but no .. stupid-ass dipsh*t President doesn't have the mental capacity to lead but just complain. Goddamnit, is that where we're at? Oh, but I digress.

So the cymbal is about 20 years old. I had high aspirations to be the next Carter Beauford but when you play original music, you have ~45 minute set. Who wants to haul extra crap to your next gig where you don't even get a soundcheck and have to be on and off within 5 minutes. F*ck that; I'm almost 52 and done with that shyte.

Are you still reading? Okay. Buy this cymbal and I'll even throw in a little clamp-on cymbal holder that you can attach to your tom rims.

Be a good boy or girl and don't low-ball me and no trades; I don't need any extra crap in my f*cking garage. Again, the old lady wants more room for her extra sh*t.
Best offer or f*ck off. No trades; I'm trying to get rid of useless crap because my old lady wants our f*ckin' garage "clean". Christ, who has heard of a clean garage? It's supposed to be filled full of useless sh*t you "think" you'll use but you're in denial and know there will come a day when you need to just "pull the plug" and haul all those "valuable sentiments" to the waste transfer station. Ironically, you'll complain you had to spend money to do this.

Do me a favor and just buy this little trinket of a cymbal. Heck, I'll even throw in a holder that mounts to a tom rim.

I like this cymbal; had it for over 25 years but after playing decades of original music @ 45 minute sets? F*ck that. Keep it simple with bare minimum. You wanna add stupid little cymbals like this? Knock yourself out, junior. The sound engineer probably won't mix you well enough to hear this fancy crap. Good luck to the next "Carter Beauford".


Very well Known Member
Jan 22, 2018
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Yeah. I've been entertained by his adds for a while.

They can put a smile on my face after a long day :)