![[DFO] Drum Forum](/styles/drumforum/xenforo/logo.png){kind=logo}
Joke Thread
- Thread starter blueshadow
- Start date
I know this is a joke. But some time in the 80's, the story goes that someone actually pulled a prank along these lines on a local pilot. Told him he was to fly a body some place, only the 'body' under the sheet was just pretending.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2020
- Messages
- 1,083
- Reaction score
- 1,237
bassanddrum84
Very well Known Member
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2009
- Messages
- 584
- Reaction score
- 426
What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a bassist?
The vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in to suck.
The vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in to suck.
I hate solid body guitars. WHERE'S MY CHEESE?
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2005
- Messages
- 7,138
- Reaction score
- 2,266
For us older DFO’ers:
Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.
At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why Hooters?"
"They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs."
"You're on."
At age 42, they meet and play golf again
"Where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Again? Why?"
"They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games."
"OK."
At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters.
"Why?"
"The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking."
"OK."
At age 62 they meet again.
After a round of golf, one says, "Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy."
"Good choice"
At age 72 they meet again.
Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts."
"Great choice."
At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Because we've never been there before."
“Okay, let’s give it a try."
Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other.
At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.
"Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why Hooters?"
"They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs."
"You're on."
At age 42, they meet and play golf again
"Where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Again? Why?"
"They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games."
"OK."
At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?"
"Hooters.
"Why?"
"The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking."
"OK."
At age 62 they meet again.
After a round of golf, one says, "Where you wanna go?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy."
"Good choice"
At age 72 they meet again.
Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts."
"Great choice."
At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"
"Hooters."
"Why?"
"Because we've never been there before."
“Okay, let’s give it a try."
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2008
- Messages
- 15,604
- Reaction score
- 2,775
Difference between a cello and a coffin ? A coffin has the corpse inside .
Difference between bagpipes and an onion ? Nobody cries when you slice the bagpipes .
A/C unit does a "Jazz drum solo"....
pgm554
Very well Known Member
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2014
- Messages
- 525
- Reaction score
- 399
Heard this one from Colaiuta back in Jr high.
What does a buck toothed cow say?
Mooth
pgm554
Very well Known Member
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2014
- Messages
- 525
- Reaction score
- 399
Then there's the one about a drummer standing at the gates of heaven waiting to be let in.
As he is standing there he hears drumming coming from the other side of the pearly gates.
He asks St Peter who that is cause it sounds a lot like Buddy Rich.
St Peter just fluffs him off saying nah, that's God,he just thinks he's Buddy Rich.
As he is standing there he hears drumming coming from the other side of the pearly gates.
He asks St Peter who that is cause it sounds a lot like Buddy Rich.
St Peter just fluffs him off saying nah, that's God,he just thinks he's Buddy Rich.
I heard that same joke, but it was Bill Monroe instead of Buddy Rich.
Deafmoon
Very well Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2014
- Messages
- 858
- Reaction score
- 766
You know why Joe DiMaggio was the greatest baseball player to ever play the game?
Cause he said so.
Cause he said so.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2020
- Messages
- 1,083
- Reaction score
- 1,237
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.
After a bit, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked: "Is it still a
requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”
The rabbi responded: "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs.”
The priest then asked: "Have you ever eaten pork?”
To which the rabbi replied: “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to
the temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it
still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”
The priest replied: "Yes, that is still very much a part of our
faith.”
The rabbi then asked him: "Father, have you ever fallen to the
temptations of the flesh?”
The priest replied: "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke
with my faith.”
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silently thinking for
about five minutes.
Finally, the rabbi said: "Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?
After a bit, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked: "Is it still a
requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”
The rabbi responded: "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs.”
The priest then asked: "Have you ever eaten pork?”
To which the rabbi replied: “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to
the temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it
still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”
The priest replied: "Yes, that is still very much a part of our
faith.”
The rabbi then asked him: "Father, have you ever fallen to the
temptations of the flesh?”
The priest replied: "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke
with my faith.”
The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silently thinking for
about five minutes.
Finally, the rabbi said: "Beats a ham sandwich, doesn't it?
Sinclair
Very well Known Member
I'm hearing 16th around 118bpm.It's all triplets I think.
A priest and a rabbit walk into a bar. Bartender says "what are y'all doing here?" Rabbit says "I don't know I think I'm here because of a typo"
A hypnotist was giving a show for a retirement home one evening. He was doing a group session and asked them all to focus on his pocket watch while he held it up and swung it side to side.
“This has been in my family since my great grandfather had it in 1887. Keep your eyes on this and concentrate on it.” While swinging it back and forth, the chain broke and it fell to the floor, breaking into pieces.
The upset hypnotist cried out “Oh Crap!”
It took 2 days to finish cleaning the meeting room.
“This has been in my family since my great grandfather had it in 1887. Keep your eyes on this and concentrate on it.” While swinging it back and forth, the chain broke and it fell to the floor, breaking into pieces.
The upset hypnotist cried out “Oh Crap!”
It took 2 days to finish cleaning the meeting room.
