Joke Thread


DFO Master
Gold Supporting Member
Aug 5, 2005
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Redmond, WA
Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb, had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day.

One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played all through High School.

Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there.'

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you.'

Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

A few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.'

'Who is it?' asked Barb, sitting up suddenly, 'Who is it?'

'Barb -- it's me, Rose.'

'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'

'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice.

'Rose! Where are you?'

'In Heaven,' replied Rose, "I have some really good news and a little bad news.'

'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb.

'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's softball in Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too.

Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.'

'That's fantastic!,' said Barb, 'It's beyond my wildest dreams!

So what's the bad news?'

'You're pitching Tuesday.'


Very well Known Member
Jul 5, 2012
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Sechelt(ish), B.C. Canada
The singer/drummer tempo thread reminded me....

A singer and her piano player are about to enter the stage when the piano player says to the singer: "When we play "My Funny Valentine" tonight, we play the bridge a minor third up and the last bar is a 3/4".
The singer is totally scared and says: "I can't do that unprepared. We first have to rehearse that."
The piano player says: "Well, you certainly did it last night".



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Jan 30, 2021
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Omaha NE.
Too lazy to read every post so this might be a duplicate.

How do you get a bass player off of your front porch?

Pay him for the Pizza!