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Joke Thread

cworrick

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pwc1141

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Just saw a post on Facebook about Erroll Garner on what would have been his 101st birthday ....as someone who never learned to read drum charts I liked the quote attributed to him :“Hell, man, nobody can hear you read.”
 

Loud

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Now THIS is Class:
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The framed photo on the actual toilet shows a toilet *with* a framed photo of the toilet on it. I think it was supposed to be a recursive photo joke.

If you zoomed in the photo in the frame, you should see a framed picture with a toilet with a framed photo of a toilet with a framed photo …
 

Elvis

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The framed photo on the actual toilet shows a toilet *with* a framed photo of the toilet on it. I think it was supposed to be a recursive photo joke.

If you zoomed in the photo in the frame, you should see a framed picture with a toilet with a framed photo of a toilet with a framed photo …
...and yet, no one has yet noticed that "Toilet" is misspelled twice in the meme.
 

Murat

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A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
 


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