Maybe I’m just feeling irritable, but... (FB marketplace experience)

dogmanaut

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I have an ad up on some of the FB groups for a bunch of the cymbals I’m selling (shameless self-plug: you can see a similar list in the for sale section here on the forum!). Mostly Turkish pies.

Anyway, a woman contacts me last night saying she’s interested. I spend a little bit of time talking to her this morning to try to give her more info, and then at the end of it, she asks me if I’d be willing to donate the stuff to a non-profit charity that allegedly supplies drums for special needs kids so they can learn to play music as a form of therapy.

(I’m a pretty cynical/suspicious person in general, so yes, my first thought was that this could very well be a scam. But let’s just say that wasn’t the case and that it was totally legit.)

So I respond and say, “Well, unfortunately, almost all of what I’m selling right now is extremely boutique, high-end kind of stuff. Handmade, imported from Turkey — that sort of thing. So probably not. But I’ll definitely let you know if I decide I do have something I’m willing to donate!”

And this is the part that kind of irks me just a little bit. She responds and says, “Our kids deserve high-end cymbals. But thank you anyway.”

Assuming, again, that this isn’t all B.S. and that she really is gathering instruments for special needs kids... do they deserve a 24” Bosphorus Turk ride? Or a set of Master Vintage crashes? I mean, I definitely don’t, and I’ve been playing for 20 years. And 20 years from now, I still won’t “deserve” them any more than a guy buying himself a $20,000 watch “deserves” it.

More likely than not, she just didn’t know what she was looking at, and I get that — the difference between good quality items, which I think is what she thought she was inquiring about, and luxury items, which is what I might classify cymbals like these as. A set of vintage A’s vs. a set of Agop Sigs, for instance.

So, I’m probably making way too big a deal out of this, but I just don’t appreciate how it felt like she was implying that I thought special needs kids only deserve sub-par instruments.

Anyway, I’m just ranting now.
 

swarfrat

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^-- This was manipulative to the point that I actually suspect she may have been trying to get you to give them to her to flip. Or she got just hung up on 'high end' and 'deserve' and doesn't get the difference between writing a $20k check to charity and giving a single $20k watch to a charity for the director's use.

I can definitely see wanting to keep the kids at least on the level of Zildjian/Sabian B8.
I can even see, if there's a guiding adult involved who plays, wanting to find some A's or equivalent. (I'm of the opinion, that people don't get to beat on B20 unless they have a financial stake in it)

But the higher end you go, the price goes up really fast and the scope of appeal gets super narrow. You may want 'buttery top end' but botique cymbals we're usually talking about 'is the butter Echire or Isigny'?
 

Radio King

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It was likely a scam. I've gotten texts along the same lines for drums I've listed on CL. I block them the same as all the others.
 

dogmanaut

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Ahhh yes. The things we think of to say after weve hung up the phone
Eh, except I’ve still got the phone in hand. I just thought it wouldn’t do any good to reply to her. (Doesn’t mean I’m not going to vent on a public forum, though! Isn’t that why the Internet was invented in the first place? Lol.)
 

Hop

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This aint gonna sound right, but I'm gonna say it anyways...
If she really cared about those deserving kids, rather than using the cold call and insult technique, she'd simply get a real job and with that money buy them kids all the cymbals they could ever use.
 

Hobbs

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I see all these types hanging out at roadsides w/ signs detailing their plight. I've seen the same types scurry into some pretty decent wheels and speed of. I think most stuff is BS these days. And I HAVE indeed flipped a $20 now and then ... but I've reached a point where it's not gonna happen again. Go to church where they'll take care of ya.

Forget this chick. Sorry, but these kids flat out don't need high-end cymbals. Cambers will do. I sure as $hit had them with my first kit in the 70's.
 

lrod1707

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Just forget about it. Some people say stupid things. A charity doesn't need a Bosphorus cymbal. They need any cymbal that can be used in an educational setting. Philanthropy comes in many ways and it doesn't need to be by you giving your prized possessions away. How about a cash donation to a charity? I think that's just as generous as giving up the cymbals. That's what the lady doesn't get! What you would want to give is totally up to you and isn't determined by that ladies manipulative words. You worked for it so you choose what to do with it. Don't feel bad! Turn the page and forget about it!
By the way, I'm back to selling on eBay even though I don't love it. 2 initial bad experiences on FB marketplace, many on Craigslist and stuff sits forever on Reverb. So it's eBay once again. At least there, we have some protection and the stuff moves faster.
 

jmato

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That manipulation tactic is bad form. Sorry that happened to you.

If may be best just to forget about it.

Or, perhaps tell her you are a member of a large online drummer's group, and sometimes folks might be willing to donate some items they don't use anymore to encourage budding musicians. Then ask her to send you the name and address of the charity, a website, the name of the CEO, and proof of their 501(c)(3) (or similar federal qualifying) charitable status. If it's a scam, you will know pretty quickly. If not, then maybe it's an opportunity to help that charity learn how to gather supplies without manipulation and deception, and to help out some special needs kids. I could send a cymbal or two if it checks out.

I suspect it's a scam, though, so please don't feel pressure to do anything other than chalking it up to disappointing human nature.
 

Rich K.

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I've had the same request for a drum charity that I couldn't find any information on. I'm guessing it's a scammer.
 

Gcort49

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I would have taken her address and tell her I have some good equipment mostly every kid starts out with. I would have sent her my trash can lids...they need replacing anyway.
 

SKSMITH

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Google the highest crime rated neighborhood in your city / town, pick an address, and set up a delivery time for her to come get them. :D
I'm just kidding, of course. I would just respond and say "I give to charity thru my employees engagement program at work, so no thank you" and leave it at that.
Steve
 

Rotarded

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Google the highest crime rated neighborhood in your city / town, pick an address, and set up a delivery time for her to come get them. :D
I'm just kidding, of course. I would just respond and say "I give to charity thru my employees engagement program at work, so no thank you" and leave it at that.
Steve
That's in rather poor taste! I just had a coworker shot and killed over a LetGo PS3 transaction. It was a setup all the way, at night, in the worst neighborhood in the city.
 
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cozy4ever

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I have an ad up on some of the FB groups for a bunch of the cymbals I’m selling (shameless self-plug: you can see a similar list in the for sale section here on the forum!). Mostly Turkish pies.

Anyway, a woman contacts me last night saying she’s interested. I spend a little bit of time talking to her this morning to try to give her more info, and then at the end of it, she asks me if I’d be willing to donate the stuff to a non-profit charity that allegedly supplies drums for special needs kids so they can learn to play music as a form of therapy.

(I’m a pretty cynical/suspicious person in general, so yes, my first thought was that this could very well be a scam. But let’s just say that wasn’t the case and that it was totally legit.)

So I respond and say, “Well, unfortunately, almost all of what I’m selling right now is extremely boutique, high-end kind of stuff. Handmade, imported from Turkey — that sort of thing. So probably not. But I’ll definitely let you know if I decide I do have something I’m willing to donate!”

And this is the part that kind of irks me just a little bit. She responds and says, “Our kids deserve high-end cymbals. But thank you anyway.”

Assuming, again, that this isn’t all B.S. and that she really is gathering instruments for special needs kids... do they deserve a 24” Bosphorus Turk ride? Or a set of Master Vintage crashes? I mean, I definitely don’t, and I’ve been playing for 20 years. And 20 years from now, I still won’t “deserve” them any more than a guy buying himself a $20,000 watch “deserves” it.

More likely than not, she just didn’t know what she was looking at, and I get that — the difference between good quality items, which I think is what she thought she was inquiring about, and luxury items, which is what I might classify cymbals like these as. A set of vintage A’s vs. a set of Agop Sigs, for instance.

So, I’m probably making way too big a deal out of this, but I just don’t appreciate how it felt like she was implying that I thought special needs kids only deserve sub-par instruments.

Anyway, I’m just ranting now.

No, that lady was way over the top. You were too nice if anything. People these days man...
 

K.O.

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I think I would have responded... " I'm not saying your kids don't deserve high end instruments, I'm just saying you aren't getting them from me"
 


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