Not sure I should encourage this type of talk

Skins_in_the_game

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But It made me laugh so here is the CL post for some snare drums.

From Seattle Craigslist;
I've got three unusual snare drums that, frankly, you're not worthy of owning, let alone playing. Maybe just skip this ad and go back to that girly-man 5x14 Ludwig Acrolite you've been playing since middle-school. "Oh" you say, "but it's vintage"; Yeah, so is my mom.

So you're still reading? You must be bored or curious or ignorant. I don't care. My old lady just wants more room in the garage (Christ, it's a huge 2-bay garage and she wants MORE?) so I'm getting rid of stuff I don't play anymore.

1) Sonor Jungle Snare 10 x 3. I love the versatility of this little drum. Tune it down and it sounds like a pillow with jingles (check out Indigo Girls song "Get out the map"; Jerry Marotta uses it during second verse). Crank it and it cuts through ice. $150.00; no obo. I'd rather give it to school than bargain.

2) 10 x 6-1/2 Mapex Stainless Steel Snare. This mother*cker will cut through not only the music but will stab you while you play it. What does it sounds like? Go back in time, b*tch, and listen to the Robert Palmer song "Simply Irresistible". The drummer played a snare of same specs and it sounds bigger than your fat mom (who jumped up into the air and got stuck). The trick was to play lighter on the hats and spank the snare for this monstrous groove. You want this snare? Gimme $150 and I will forget where you came from. I don't care if the authorities ask. I will claim ignorance. Shut up. Again, no bargaining. I'm not freaking "Glen Grant" (look it up on YouTube; I don't have time to educate the kids).

3) I bought this drum after I learned that the "drum god" Dave Weckl used this model on his debut album. Back then I masturbated to these stupid drummer-lead recordings. Nowadays? I couldn't give a rat's ass with these two-stick whack-off self-congratulatory monuments to themselves. I paid $200 over 20 years ago, but I just want it gone so if you give me $150 cash, I'm good. I put on a tambourine snare head at one point. It sounds okay if you want a novel sound. Notice the vintage rims. I could care less. It sounds great but time to clear out the garage thanks to my old lady.

I live in Kirkland, so if you're still reading this and interested, let me know and we'll exchange a drum for straight cash. If you pay me in currency less than $20 bills, I will rebuke you at a biblical proportion.

I hate selling stuff but I'm 51 and haven't used any of this crap in, yes, decades, so you may be buying something that's old but it's been stored in drum cases the entire time.

 

Vistalite Black

Ludwigs in the Basement
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Is there a way to nominate someone to be the state of Washington's Poet Laureate?

I'm sure whoever holds that distinction now has never topped this descriptive phrase: "It sounds bigger than your fat mom (who jumped up into the air and got stuck)."
 

Polska

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I laughed and gave it some "street cred" over the usual Craig's List ads just because he mentioned Jerry Marotta.
 

moodman

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This guy feels like a kindred spirit, I used to leave 'Don't read this or you're an idiot" notes in Junior High study hall, a full page ridiculing the reader, getting meaner as it went. We didn't have snarky then (1961) but we had smart-aass.
 

davezedlee

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“If your aunt had balls she’d be your uncle”

Probably the same dude..
 


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