O.T. Firing a Client... (long post warning)

Dumpy

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Give a warning first. I’ve gotten rid of clients, but unless what they did was out & out wrong, I always gave a warning first.
She did many things. Unfortunately, I am a person who takes a lot until it just gets too much to handle. She’s bounced checks as well as the other things mentioned. I’m just done. Maybe in the future, I can set boundaries better.
 

speady1

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Not sure if this helps or not, but two things immediately came to my mind. "Life is short, so make it wide" and "A man that has overcome much, is bothered by little".

Some things just aren't worth the trouble. Feel zero guilt doing what's right for your life.
 

Squirrel Man

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Not sure if this helps or not, but two things immediately came to my mind. "Life is short, so make it wide" and "A man that has overcome much, is bothered by little".

Some things just aren't worth the trouble. Feel zero guilt doing what's right for your life.
Don't forget "he who go to bed with itchy butt always wake up with smelly fingers"
 

Dumpy

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This phrase is categorically incorrect and should be banned from society.

I spent my entire career in Hospitality and Customer Service type positions, from entry level all the way up to General Manager, and if there is ONE THING I took away from it is:

The customer is NOT always right, but they ARE presenting an opportunity to satisfy their needs. After I understood that, I could handle the worst of the worst Karens, and in the Private (Country Club) Club business, the environment was thick with entitled Karens. Many times I took a stand and denied them the satisfaction of bullying me and my staff into their prefered outcome. More often then not we found an agreement in the middle ground. Sometimes I took a firm stance and later actually received apologies.
The sentence which said to take a stand is probably the one I have trouble with doing. I take a lot of abuse and then I am just done. I am understanding that the more I am going over this. In the end, me saying “no more” is me taking a stand, but I should’ve NEVER let it get to that point. When I was cutting her hair before I left the spa, she would ask me to give her cash in exchange for writing a larger check. This is the type of bold stuff she does. I believe she likes to push until someone has enough, and usually does this to people who would normally give the shirt off of their back! I know that’s how it went down with the stylist who last fired her.
 

Dumpy

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Not sure if this helps or not, but two things immediately came to my mind. "Life is short, so make it wide" and "A man that has overcome much, is bothered by little".

Some things just aren't worth the trouble. Feel zero guilt doing what's right for your life.
I am feeling better and better about my decision. I have battled bad health for a few years, and frankly, this doesn’t need to be in my life now.
 

ppfd

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You seem you already have a paper trail started. I’d prepare for the possibility of filing restraint / protection orders.

Mental health issues? Possibly. Entitlement issues definitely
 

Dumpy

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You seem you already have a paper trail started. I’d prepare for the possibility of filing restraint / protection orders.

Mental health issues? Possibly. Entitlement issues definitely
Hopefully, with the safeguards I have employed, she should go away quietly.
 

Dumpy

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I'm not convinced of that. Someone gains 100lbs in a year and seeks to cause harm to others, and everything else he described leads me to that conclusion.
I have literally dealt with many phases of this woman. Nothing is EVER her fault. She tries to be very imposing. I don’t fear for my life, but she could become a very annoying chapter in my current life.
 

RIDDIM

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The customer IS always right...within reason. Her behavior is not within reason.

However...I really feel for those of us who are in customer service, because anyone can go on social media and exaggerate (or outright lie) about perceived mistreatment or unfair policies. I see it all the time. We live in a time when we can be held hostage by internet bullies. I think your letter was professional and well-worded, and that will take care of the issue. Your existing clientele will have your back.
- and if that fails, there are always restraining orders.
 

Dumpy

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I had a similar experience after I started teaching drums again, part-time this time.
Same as you, I pulled the plug without a real warning. There had been signs the kid needed therapy, every lesson was a fight, and I am a drum teacher, not a therapist. His parents didn't communicate this to me early on, and didn't communicate politely in general. Once the kid started doing obscene gestures, you know the kind, behind my back he thought, I told him I didn't accept this behavior. Slept over it, talked to the head of school (free-lancing agreement), and decided a warning wouldn't help.

I too used to depend on the freelance teaching job and couldn't afford to be too critical. But as someone once said, some people give you enegry, others suck it from you. If possible, avoid the latter. Some people are just not good for your own well-being. I am willing to give people a chance, but sometimes they need to figure it out for themselves first.
The part where you said a “warning wouldn’t help” was exactly where this person was. And she is the type to over-compensate and behave super nice, but slowly slip back into her behaviors. When she bounced the check last year, it was a “you know I would never ever ever do this, right? Right?” It was almost like an abusive relationship, where when they do bad, “oh I’m so sorry. So sorry. Not going to do it EVER again, but you should accept this behavior because you need me”. I was definitely past the warning stage as she had pulled many little stunts.
 

Dumpy

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While what's below is about a more serious relationship, it applies to any of them that happen in life.

A lifelong friend of mine reminded me of a simple truth when we were talking about the last partner I had, and how it didn't work out. To paraphrase "If you're happier with the person in your life than without, it's worth being in the relationship." The second part of that is that both people should be at least that happy, or why bother.

Sounds like your client is happy being unhappy and you're not. I think you ought to let her go for your own good. There will be some kind of fallout but it won't be as bad as keeping her, and it'll go away eventually, whereas your client would not.
This is essentially what she is. She moans and groans about everything. She was in this dog training group. It was her new thing. Everything was hunky dory, until it wasn’t. And she’d bring her service dogs she was training into the salon. The dogs would get in my way while I was trying to work on her hair. Now she moans about how everyone in that group treats her. And just like when she lost her coaching job at the school 15 year back, nothing was her fault (and still moans about that). And as far as the happy being unhappy aspect, I was *this* close to playing Hee Haw’s “Gloom, Despair and Agony” song (yes, it’s queued up on my phone) for her. You gotta think that everyone has something to be thankful and joyful for...

I know there will be another who dances on my last nerve, but at least the chance of my chair breaking and me getting sued has been mitigated!
 

Dumpy

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I definitely think you did the right thing Dumpy. I used to be in customer service as well, and I could be your best friend bend-over-backward helper as long as you aren't taking advantage of me or bringing toxicity into my life. But there comes a time when severing that relationship is the right thing to do because of your own self-care. And yes, "firing a customer" is a common way of looking at this for those who have been in these positions.
Some people would say that merely showing up and paying is good enough. Yes, this is a three week client, so I am missing out on 17 potential appointments per year. That will be a significant drop.

I have one I see every week. She is just one of the most pleasant people I know, and her husband has a rare autoimmune disorder. That woman has a right to complain, but she really doesn’t. She actually PROTECTED me from one of her friends who was a never pleased client trying to get on my book after my surgeries. She told this woman “Dumpy has way too much on his plate to deal with the likes of you!” I’d go to hell and back for this woman and her husband. They are great people and I treasure them.

But when a person always tries to figure out how much they can push someone, you feel like you work three times harder for that money.
 

Dumpy

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you did the right, though always difficult, thing. The card was well written. Never give a reason if possible. Best of luck with the blowback.
Thank you. My reason was very vague, and not for discussion.

She may barge in unannounced. That is why I will be locking the salon entrance. People will have to be let in, and I am fine with that.
 


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