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notINtheband
Very well Known Member
He has been a friend since high school, and we are still close. We talk several times a week, though we play in different circles these days.
But lately I am struggling to relate to my friend and I have hopes that I can learn some insights into understanding my buddy and his motivations.
The issue (as I see it), he never stops talking about himself.
Every conversation gets immediately rerouted back to something about him.
He tells endless stories about times when he was bragged upon by others. He describes himself as the hero in every situation he shares. He doesn’t directly brag on himself, but disguises the accolades by telling countless stories describing others bragging on him and retells all the wonderful things they said about him.
When he runs low on these stories, he retells them. I have confided to a third close friend who shared with me that he is doing the same thing with him, ad nauseam.
I have even looked up the definitions of diagnosis of things like Narcissism but he doesn’t fit those as most of the diagnosis of these things include characteristics more damaging and selfish than anything I have seen from him.
I recently introduced him to a handful of my friends at a gathering. Everyone was courteous and enjoying themselves. But later I found myself quietly apologizing to the group because my friend had so dominated every conversation that the normally lively gang had gone silent by the end of the night.
Anyway, I’m trying to find a productive way to interact with my friend without saying something that will damage our friendship. He seems completely happy letting every conversation be about him and in all honesty it’s mostly harmless (just frustrating).
I hesitate to call him out, try to intervene, or take it upon myself to address this with him because I fear losing a friendship of 40 years just because I’m tired of hearing him praise himself endlessly.
If anything this has caused me to carefully look inward and make an effort to avoid doing these things myself.
But lately I am struggling to relate to my friend and I have hopes that I can learn some insights into understanding my buddy and his motivations.
The issue (as I see it), he never stops talking about himself.
Every conversation gets immediately rerouted back to something about him.
He tells endless stories about times when he was bragged upon by others. He describes himself as the hero in every situation he shares. He doesn’t directly brag on himself, but disguises the accolades by telling countless stories describing others bragging on him and retells all the wonderful things they said about him.
When he runs low on these stories, he retells them. I have confided to a third close friend who shared with me that he is doing the same thing with him, ad nauseam.
I have even looked up the definitions of diagnosis of things like Narcissism but he doesn’t fit those as most of the diagnosis of these things include characteristics more damaging and selfish than anything I have seen from him.
I recently introduced him to a handful of my friends at a gathering. Everyone was courteous and enjoying themselves. But later I found myself quietly apologizing to the group because my friend had so dominated every conversation that the normally lively gang had gone silent by the end of the night.
Anyway, I’m trying to find a productive way to interact with my friend without saying something that will damage our friendship. He seems completely happy letting every conversation be about him and in all honesty it’s mostly harmless (just frustrating).
I hesitate to call him out, try to intervene, or take it upon myself to address this with him because I fear losing a friendship of 40 years just because I’m tired of hearing him praise himself endlessly.
If anything this has caused me to carefully look inward and make an effort to avoid doing these things myself.
