OT: Losing my dad.

DWFunk

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Right after lunch I was in the middle of my latest rewrap project, just about to apply the 3M 30NF to a small tom when my mom called to tell me that my dad had just been taken to the hospital by ambulance. She had found him laying face down on the bathroom floor when she came home from church.

Turns out he had had a massive stroke and the outlook is bleak, pretty much a foregone conclusion that he will be gone within the next few hours.

So now we're waiting. Not the way I pictured my day/week/life going. He was going to be 80 at the end of the week. He's always been there for me whenever I needed help with anything.

There was nothing this man couldn't do if he put his mind to it and he instilled that same quality in me. Why pay to have someone do anything you might possibly do yourself? A trait that I personally have directed towards drums among many other things. Not entirely out of the desire to save money either but also for the sense of accomplishment and even a feeling ( sometimes quite missplaced) that , with a bit of study and practice that he could do whatever the task a little better.

So anyway....not a good turn of events for me or my family. Not looking for sympathy as I know we've all suffered through similar events. Just posting to occupy my mind while waiting for the inevitable.
So sorry to hear of your loss. It seems we are never prepared in life for how we lose our love ones and family, never when or how.

Reading about your Dad and how his influence carried over into your drum life made me recall my own father and how he encourage my brother and I in our musical journey. He bought me my first drum, a snare from the Sears catalogue. When he saw that I was serious, he then bought me a used set from a pawn shop in Nashville. It was an ugly wood finish that I sanded down and he helped me paint it using his paint spray gun. I had picked a metallic blue auto paint. I loved it. Fast forward to my sophmore year in high school, he then took my brother and I again to Nashville when he surprised my brother and I to a trip to a local drum shop to by my first set of Slingerlands. Capri Pearl. Beautiful. Next he bought my brother his first electric guitar. It was a Fender.
He always supported us in our music. Fathers will do that.
 

JazzyJeff

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My deepest sympathies K.O.

I lost my father last February. There was little surprise as he had suffered for years with debilitating COPD. One year later, it’s still surreal.
 

speady1

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Kev, it sounds as though your Dad was an amazing man who lived a wonderful and fulfilling life. My deepest condolences to you and yours. Please let me know if you need anything at all.
 

pedro navahas

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So sorry Kevin, losing a parent is one of the harder things in life.
 

Speedy Keen

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Very sorry for you and your family, Kevin. Reading what you wrote took me back to going through a very similar
time. Take care.
 

johnlamond

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Kevin, very sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine in January of 2010 and although it really sucked losing him, I took comfort in the fact that I had him as my dad for almost 50 years. God Bless you and your family.
 

dsop

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I don't know you, but I know your pain. I lost my dad a little over three years ago, and lost my mother a few months ago. I think of them every day, and I'm nowhere near okay yet. I may seek out some sort of grief support group. My parents were both so good to me and my brothers and I can't stand that they're not around anymore. I knew if would be tough, but this is just too much.
I hope you have family and friends that you can lean on.
 

stinkingbadges

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K.O. I am very sorry for your loss. MY condolences and prayers to you and your family. From my time on DFO over the years it's pretty obvious that he raised a fine son.

Matt
 

JOE COOL

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kevin , im very sorry for your loss. many of us know the heartache.

thank you for sharing a bit about your dad. he sounded like a special man.
he influenced your life and a bit of him will live on within you.

'blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.'
 

K.O.

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Thanks to everyone for the kind words and thoughts. I'm still quite overwhelmed by this turn of events.

My dad was always there for me whenever I needed help with anything and the thought of proceeding forward through life without that support system in place instills a sense of fear and almost panic in me right now if I think about it. Also I realize that most everything I did and the way that I did it was geared towards making sure he was proud of me...so now what?

I'm sure time will help heal this wound and it is something everyone has to deal with sooner or later and there is nothing special about my case. We all have or will have to deal with things like this at some point. I truly do appreciate all the support.
 

thejohnlec

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Also I realize that most everything I did and the way that I did it was geared towards making sure he was proud of me...so now what?
Judging by how you spoke about him and how you described your relationship with him, I am certain you can rest in the fact that he was indeed proud of you. Prayers for peace and health for you and your family during this time - so sorry for your loss.
 

drawtheline55

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Sorry to hear what you are going thru, the best to you and your family, it's never easy, Ugh !

Ben
 

K.O.

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Visitation/funeral is tomorrow. Not looking forward to it but hopefully there will be a sense of closure afterwards. Thanks everyone.
 

cochlea

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How is your mom holding up, Kevin? I lost my dad 16 years ago this month and despite my own sense of loss and grief, I (along with my two brothers) had to focus on helping my mother move forward. Hopefully she has a good support network of family and friends close by.
 

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