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OT: social media troubles

Tornado

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Trying to not get into specifics here and keep it non political. Please try to do the same if you reply. Why can't people keep their dumb opinions to themselves? What is it about social media that compels people to make incendiary statements that even they probably don't fully buy into? It's like they crave the attention that an online argument gives them. It's like a compulsion, like a gambling addiction. Clicking submit on that post is thrilling, and it just could ruin your life.

It's easy to say, "good! Now I know what kind of person they are and can block/ignore/boycott that person". But I'm not sure a lot of stupid statements would ever been made without the allure of likes and comments. And certainly dumb statements are made off the cuff in person, but calm conversation usually results in that person walking some or all of it back.

The thing is, I've felt it. Wanting to post something so bad about some current event, only to stop myself because I realized there is no reason to make my opinion known to anyone, much less loose acquaintances. Why would I think these people should know my opinion about anything? Why would I think they would even want to know? It's such a strange phenomenon... I don't think humans are wired to communicate this way. It's really one of the most personally destructive things I've ever witnessed. Gambling your livelihood or personal relationships on telling the world what you think about some hot button topic.
 

snappy

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Trying to not get into specifics here and keep it non political. Please try to do the same if you reply. Why can't people keep their dumb opinions to themselves? What is it about social media that compels people to make incendiary statements that even they probably don't fully buy into? It's like they crave the attention that an online argument gives them. It's like a compulsion, like a gambling addiction. Clicking submit on that post is thrilling, and it just could ruin your life.

It's easy to say, "good! Now I know what kind of person they are and can block/ignore/boycott that person". But I'm not sure a lot of stupid statements would ever been made without the allure of likes and comments. And certainly dumb statements are made off the cuff in person, but calm conversation usually results in that person walking some or all of it back.

The thing is, I've felt it. Wanting to post something so bad about some current event, only to stop myself because I realized there is no reason to make my opinion known to anyone, much less loose acquaintances. Why would I think these people should know my opinion about anything? Why would I think they would even want to know? It's such a strange phenomenon... I don't think humans are wired to communicate this way. It's really one of the most personally destructive things I've ever witnessed. Gambling your livelihood or personal relationships on telling the world what you think about some hot button topic.
Thoreau said "the mass of men lead a life of QUIET desperation"
.. That was before the internet
 

dcrigger

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The thing is - folks have been yelling and screaming at each other on every topic know to man since long before social media. Every listen to the crap folks talk about sitting a bar. And then in the early days of the 'net - the wild west that was R.M.M.P. - the "everything goes" section in the predecessor of this site. Folks are going to try and influence others with their opinion... it din't start with social media - not by a long shot.

All that sad - the whole professional reputation thing is something people don't give as much thought to as they should. Most players really don't have a separate social identity for their musician persona separate from their personal persona. And don't always ponder the exposure that comes with a "Friends of Friends" Facebook post.

Personally if I was 20 years earlier in my career - I would hold my personal opinions about tons of things much closer to my chest than I do now. Between not really looking to break into whole new circles, coupled with the music industry skewing pretty left - my pretty open book lifestyle these days isn't that big of a risk.

But I have thought about it - made conscious decisions about how to handle it. Which I would wholeheartedly advise. Assessing how the world is likely to react our actions just makes sense... IMO.
 

frankmott

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My take on mindless meme sharing:

 

drumstuff66

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Several years ago, after having a lot of the issues the OP talks about, I deleted my personal FB page and started a "Band/Musician" FB page. A business page. No family photos, no what I had for breakfast, no look at the snowman my kid made, no here's what I think and why I'm right about the current state of world affairs. The only things I post are where I'm playing and what band/artist I'm playing with....maybe a line or two about the venue and the band with a photo or recent videos/soundclips - and that's it. There are technical differences between personal and business FB pages. You do need a personal page to start a business page, but once I deleted mine I opened a "dummy" one using my first and middle name - no pictures or info.

It was a small change, but it made a difference. Not having a "personal" page made the vibe way less...well...personal. By only posting gigs, etc, my "friends" seemed less compelled to get all personal, preachy, pious and/or political. It was more "Have a good show", "See ya there", or "liking" a new song or video. People can see it's not the outlet for your personal life, or theirs. You couldn't guess a thing about me by looking at my page other than I'm a drummer and here's what I'm up to in that regard...

I never felt the need to get instagram or twitter accounts. Having a FB is enough to promote myself and my gigs at this point, but if I did have other social media accounts, including a personal FB page I'd treat them as business accounts or strictly limit who has access.

I used my first go-round with social media to connect with true friends and people I had lost contact with or never had contact info for in the first place. Now I have my friends phone numbers and emails for when I want to touch base and they have mine...

YMMV
 

CSR

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Several years ago, after having a lot of the issues the OP talks about, I deleted my personal FB page and started a "Band/Musician" FB page. A business page. No family photos, no what I had for breakfast, no look at the snowman my kid made, no here's what I think and why I'm right about the current state of world affairs. The only things I post are where I'm playing and what band/artist I'm playing with....maybe a line or two about the venue and the band with a photo or recent videos/soundclips - and that's it. There are technical differences between personal and business FB pages. You do need a personal page to start a business page, but once I deleted mine I opened a "dummy" one using my first and middle name - no pictures or info.

It was a small change, but it made a difference. Not having a "personal" page made the vibe way less...well...personal. By only posting gigs, etc, my "friends" seemed less compelled to get all personal, preachy, pious and/or political. It was more "Have a good show", "See ya there", or "liking" a new song or video. People can see it's not the outlet for your personal life, or theirs. You couldn't guess a thing about me by looking at my page other than I'm a drummer and here's what I'm up to in that regard...

I never felt the need to get instagram or twitter accounts. Having a FB is enough to promote myself and my gigs at this point, but if I did have other social media accounts, including a personal FB page I'd treat them as business accounts or strictly limit who has access.

I used my first go-round with social media to connect with true friends and people I had lost contact with or never had contact info for in the first place. Now I have my friends phone numbers and emails for when I want to touch base and they have mine...

YMMV

This is exactly what I chose to do...drums, music, and gigs only. Too many people I play with and/or hire me have very different political and social opinions. No point in burning bridges.
 

glynch

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Several years ago, after having a lot of the issues the OP talks about, I deleted my personal FB page and started a "Band/Musician" FB page. A business page. No family photos, no what I had for breakfast, no look at the snowman my kid made, no here's what I think and why I'm right about the current state of world affairs. The only things I post are where I'm playing and what band/artist I'm playing with....maybe a line or two about the venue and the band with a photo or recent videos/soundclips - and that's it. There are technical differences between personal and business FB pages. You do need a personal page to start a business page, but once I deleted mine I opened a "dummy" one using my first and middle name - no pictures or info.

It was a small change, but it made a difference. Not having a "personal" page made the vibe way less...well...personal. By only posting gigs, etc, my "friends" seemed less compelled to get all personal, preachy, pious and/or political. It was more "Have a good show", "See ya there", or "liking" a new song or video. People can see it's not the outlet for your personal life, or theirs. You couldn't guess a thing about me by looking at my page other than I'm a drummer and here's what I'm up to in that regard...

I never felt the need to get instagram or twitter accounts. Having a FB is enough to promote myself and my gigs at this point, but if I did have other social media accounts, including a personal FB page I'd treat them as business accounts or strictly limit who has access.

I used my first go-round with social media to connect with true friends and people I had lost contact with or never had contact info for in the first place. Now I have my friends phone numbers and emails for when I want to touch base and they have mine...

YMMV

That's a good idea
 

cworrick

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ARGuy

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I would like to ask those musicians and music industry people that have made their thoughts and beliefs public, "What did you think was going to happen?" Were they caught be surprise when they lost their endorsements and endorsers? Or, did they anticipate the reactions, but their thoughts and beliefs meant so much to them that they couldn't stay silent?
 

Mcjnic

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I would like to ask those musicians and music industry people that have made their thoughts and beliefs public, "What did you think was going to happen?" Were they caught be surprise when they lost their endorsements and endorsers? Or, did they anticipate the reactions, but their thoughts and beliefs meant so much to them that they couldn't stay silent?

A very interesting point. Absolutely agree.
If a person speaks and cannot solidly stand upon their own words ... they probably should refrain.
A very wise person once wrote that the mouth is untamable ... GUARD your tongue.

Keeping that in mind ... not a bad idea.
 

Hop

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… If a person speaks and cannot solidly stand upon their own words ... they probably should refrain.
A very wise person once wrote that the mouth is untamable ... GUARD your tongue...
Echoing the phrases you shared, I've always been fond of this one, "Better to remain silent and thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

To the original theme.... Interesting times we live in.

Social media certainly give folks a wider platform for expression, but it really is a double edged sword. You can get psychologically rewarded through passive and/or active participation, which can be quite addictive (actually it's a key function that makes the different platforms so successful). I just need look at all the faces buried into a personal "smart" device for evidence of that. Rewards come through likes/dislikes, promotion/demotion, the shared echo chamber of like mindedness, the short/terse formatting etc... all of which seems to promote some false sense of participation.

I find it odd though that "negatives" can be so well received, but I think that goes back to the reward psychology then doesn't it. Hard to feel like a participant when the prudent thing to do is sit down, gather your thoughts, research a topic for pro/contra data, bang out a well reasoned 500-1000 word essay on said topic when it is far more emotionally satiating to clap back in less than 144 words*** or queue up some snappy meme in this fast paced/live for the moment world. Doing the 'prudent' thing sure would make it seem as though the world was passing quickly by.

I think one of the important double edge sword aspects is certainly the propagation of the "cancel culture." It sure seems to lend to the idea that as I can't support or defend my argument you just need to SHUT UP, because you're just a - whatever pejorative phobia or 'ist' or 'ism' you care to hurl at it. And this can have really big ramifications when the mob gets involved (regardless of whatever side of an argument you may take).

I think I may also be under some delusion that during another time we were less quick to just shout down and shutdown ideas/thoughts/arguments... but I think the truth is we were always like this just in a different form and pace. I'm almost positive we didn't learn mob mentality with the advent of FB/Twitter/YT comment sections etc... but I may have to do some more research on the topic!


*** EDIT: characters I think is correct, not words.
 
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Tornado

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Echoing the phrases you shared, I've always been fond of this one, "Better to remain silent and thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

To the original theme.... Interesting times we live in.

Social media certainly give folks a wider platform for expression, but it really is a double edged sword. You can get psychologically rewarded through passive and/or active participation, which can be quite addictive (actually it's a key function that makes the different platforms so successful). I just need look at all the faces buried into a personal "smart" device for evidence of that. Rewards come through likes/dislikes, promotion/demotion, the shared echo chamber of like mindedness, the short/terse formatting etc... all of which seems to promote some false sense of participation.

I find it odd though that "negatives" can be so well received, but I think that goes back to the reward psychology then doesn't it. Hard to feel like a participant when the prudent thing to do is sit down, gather your thoughts, research a topic for pro/contra data, bang out a well reasoned 500-1000 word essay on said topic when it is far more emotionally satiating to clap back in less than 144 words*** or queue up some snappy meme in this fast paced/live for the moment world. Doing the 'prudent' thing sure would make it seem as though the world was passing quickly by.

I think one of the important double edge sword aspects is certainly the propagation of the "cancel culture." It sure seems to lend to the idea that as I can't support or defend my argument you just need to SHUT UP, because you're just a - whatever pejorative phobia or 'ist' or 'ism' you care to hurl at it. And this can have really big ramifications when the mob gets involved (regardless of whatever side of an argument you may take).

I think I may also be under some delusion that during another time we were less quick to just shout down and shutdown ideas/thoughts/arguments... but I think the truth is we were always like this just in a different form and pace. I'm almost positive we didn't learn mob mentality with the advent of FB/Twitter/YT comment sections etc... but I may have to do some more research on the topic!


*** EDIT: characters I think is correct, not words.

I think the psychological reward and addiction amplifies this so much. That coupled with the ability to isolate yourself in an echo chamber for so long your perspective on what is acceptable gets skewed. Thinking back on some recent higher profile incidents, I really doubt they are terrible people if you could actually talk to them one on one. Guard your tongue indeed.
 

A.TomicMorganic

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Reading social media in the morning was ruining my life by starting every day in a rage. I left it all behind a few months ago, and am much better off without it. Sure, I miss some of the friends from far away, but I have my sanity back.
 


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